Be it a Netflix show or a YouTube video or, for that matter, even YouTube Shorts, I end up fast forwarding every single video without having the patience to watch anything fully! My kids keep telling me that the day I am going to break the fast forward button in our TV remote isn’t very far away. But such is the impatience level coupled with content overload on the internet that I just don’t have it in me to watch anything fully.

I come back to Singapore from Madras and start unpacking the luggage. I open the snack cupboard with one hand holding the peanut chikkis, Gems and candies on the other, only to find a whole lot of biscuits, dates and peanuts falling out from it. I open my wardrobe to place all my new kurtas and out comes tumbling all my dresses. I open the bags cupboard to keep all the empty bags only to be showered with more bags. I open my kids’ stationery cupboard only to see it already overflowing with all sorts of pens, erasers, pencils, binding clips & what not! This pretty much summarizes my decluttering & organizing skills!

There was a time when I spent a good chunk of time reading books & watching videos on decluttering, organizing and minimalism. As the years passed, I realized that there was no way that I will ever be able to adopt minimalism as a way of life. Then came the time when I realized that decluttering too was becoming more & more difficult.

We, as a generation, are owning a lot of stuff. There is no longer only the saree or the salwar kameez than an Indian woman wears. You have the lehengas, the western formals, the workout attire, the loungewear and what not! Footwear too isn’t any simple. You have to own at least a pair of slippers, sandals & walking shoes. The gadgets with their endless tangled cables and all the digital media documenting every other moment of our lives are no longer easy to manage too.

You never really realize when your kids outgrow playing with their toys and you are suddenly left with all sorts of toys, board games, cycles, scooters and what not! The same goes with books too as the kids transition from cloth books to board books to fairy tales to Geronimo Stilton to Harry Potter.

As yet another new year has begun, I am still debating as to whether or not I should even take a resolution to make my home more organized.

You know those moments in life, don’t you, when, for what seems like a trivial thing when seen in the entire context of life & universe in itself, you keep panicking and when all you want to do to is to genuinely put in some effort to relax and yet you are just not able to? Well, just like how the previous sentence turned out to be an avalanche of words, the mind is also spinning off on an avalanche of what-ifs.

During moments like these, I generally follow the popular advice on focussing on the current task at hand and have realized many times that there is much more to be done NOW than letting your mind go out of control. Yet there are times when it’s all easier said than done.

It’s during moments like these that I remember my blog.

Though when I see retrospectively, it was only for a very few years that I wrote regularly here, the satisfaction it gave me at that time in sharing all that I enjoyed and other observations on life in itself is still afresh in my mind. It’s another fact that it was during those years that I experienced how fragile life itself is. But the blog helped distract the mind.

In fact, that’s one reason I continue to maintain this site till today. There are also some instances when my own blog page continues to show up in Google search when I search for some Carnatic composition. Reliving those moments of late, I just thought that I should simply login and write something here.

As years pass, I see many around me letting go of a lot of things. Take my favourite celebrities for instance. Sanjay Subrahmanyan, who strictly sang only Carnatic music, has suddenly started singing fusion and even film songs! A R Rahman, who didn’t speak beyond a few words in interviews, is nowadays talking a lot and that too in a completely relaxed state! Did we even think that there will come a day when he will even try to dance?! Not to forget the fact that he seems to be composing music for way too many films of late, that one is not even able to keep a track of it!

I wonder if there will come a day when I will also be able to let go of some of my inhibitions. I do know that it’s all easier said than done, since these words from ‘You’ve Got Mail’ keeps resonating with me :

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around?

There have been many jottings of introspections & retrospections like this one that I wanted to write here over the last few years, but I never really posted anything. I would say that publishing this post now is itself a minor act of letting go. 🙂

Even as I end this post by wishing you all very happy new year 🙂 , wish me luck for this year as I seek to practice letting go.

Visiting Penang, Malaysia, recently, I was struck by a pang of homesickness, stronger than ever.

Our first evening there was spent visiting three Hindu temples – Waterfall Hill Bala Thandayuthapanai Temple (ThaNNeer Malai Kovil), Sri Meenakshi Amman Temple and Nattukottai Chettiar Sri Muruga Temple. These three temples were quite farther away from the Georgetown City Centre and the calmness and the quietness in the locality lent an added divinity to these temples. Right below the Waterfall Hill Muruga temple, there were organizations like Hindu Mahajana Sangam, a Tamil school and Gandhi Peace Centre which were housed in small buildings. But for the Malay nameplates for these buildings, it wouldn’t have been surprising if someone had forgotten that they were not in Tamil Nadu, but were in a faraway country.

Some of the temples in Penang date back to more than a hundred years and temples like Sri Mariamman temple date back to 1833! Seeing our culture and traditions intact there, I wondered how it would have been back then.

No aeroplanes, no telephones, no WhatsApp to help you constantly stay in touch with your family back home. What made those people leave their home, board ships and migrate to a faraway island which practically didn’t have much back then? How many days did it take for them to reach this place from their home? How many times did they actually visit their home again? It obviously wouldn’t have been as easy as boarding a flight and reaching your home in just 4 hours!

As they were trying to recreate a piece of their home in an unknown place by following their culture and traditions and building temples for worshiping their deities, how did they handle the life here amidst unknown people from different countries and their longing for the life back at home? As the years passed by, did they miss their home more and more or did they learn to seek comfort in their new life and get settled there happily?

As thoughts after thoughts raced through my mind, I eventually realized that my thoughts were no longer about those people who migrated more than a century back, but it was more about only my own thoughts and feelings.

It could be visiting a place like this or it could be something as simple as listening to

en veeDu thaai Tamizh Naadu enre sollaDaa
en naamam Indian enre enrum nillaDaa

You never know when you feel that pang of homesickness triggered within you!

I was reading some time back about how to unblock the writer’s block. Reading the point which talked about remembering the intention behind why one started to write had me getting back my inspiration in a flash. After all, I am still as passionate about all the things that I was passionate about back when I started to write and it was to share more about those passions that I started to write.

I had started writing this on January 2nd and had just written down the next two paragraphs when Murphy struck even before I could finish all that I wanted to write and thus, this too ended up as a draft like several other posts lying unpublished! Anyway, now that I thought it’s better to restart again, I am posting this now.

I have never been a person who has successfully stuck to new year resolutions, since I can’t keep up at anything beyond a few weeks. But, new year or not, every time I come back to Singapore from a trip to Madras, I come back with an increased level of motivation and inner energy and thus, end up sticking to some new small daily goals (just another way of saying resolution 🙂 ) for a few weeks. I usually stick to those till the sameness of the everyday routine gets on to me or till the feeling of missing my home that is Madras intensifies.

Anyway, getting back to the title of this post, tapping into the energy I have got from just returning from India, I am planning to take up some resolutions for January and first among them is the daily goal of writing something here, be it two lines or two hundred lines, it doesn’t matter. Wish me luck, folks! Wishing you all a very happy new year and tons of luck in getting all your goals, big and small, accomplished.