Yes, every mother goes through it at some point of time or the other. You wake up in the morning, take one glance at the clock which has you running into the bathroom to take a shower and get out of it in a jiffy, rush through the preparations of cooking at least a basic meal and finally run to the nearest fan with the cooked food in your hand just so it could turn warm from hot sooner so that you can feed your kid on time before his/her hunger pangs could turn into tantrums or crying spells. That’s when comes the first refusal and then total rejection from the kid who outright says that he/she will not eat the food.

This everyday struggle at almost every single mealtime, including in the form of unfinished lunch boxes from school gets on your nerves enough to launch off into a rant on why you even cook anymore, doesn’t it? I really wouldn’t mind if either of my kids didn’t eat properly at a few of their mealtimes if it didn’t result in all the crying or naughty acts from them. While my 5-year old resorts to crying for anything and everything, my 2-year old launches off into full-blown naughtiness, throwing things, biting/hitting us and jumping on the sofa. Diversion from it all and having a backup food like Magnum icecream or Lays chips ready for such times is what works most of the times. But, sometimes, even that doesn’t work. And that’s when frustration sets in on us. Ah the immense level of patience that is required from us! Just what exactly do kids love to eat???

Wishing all of you a very happy Diwali/Deepavali! May this festival of lights light up your life with loads and loads of joyful and memorable moments! May there be oodles of happiness and cheer everywhere!

Writing at length about how I had let impatience take over me at several instances in the last couple of days has made me realize that not only was I getting stressed out unnecessarily, but I should also not let myself get back to my old ways even for fleeting moments. Here is a quick self-reminder on how I should get back full-fledged to my mindful talking ways:

• Be mindful of how much you talk and, more importantly, the way you talk. The words should come out at a slow pace and in a soft voice. Lengthy conversations with me being the prime talker is a strict no-no.
• Do not shout – not even across the room talking. Sometime, last month, my daughter said, “I could hear your voice from the other room.” That is precisely how much the volume of my voice shouldn’t have been.
• Do not talk in a whispering voice.
• Do not sing or hum.
• Do not polambify (Don’t I love Tanglish!) / rant about anything – be it something mundane or something life-altering.
• Be completely relaxed.

I already have these written on a post-it on my fridge in the kitchen and read through it on a daily basis or whenever I feel I am not sticking to any of the points. Writing these here will help me be a lot more mindful.

As an aside, don’t these points ultimately boil down to having immense patience and improving your patience level with every passing moment?

The moment I wrote the last post here on how I was in a relaxed mode, I knew that Murphy would soon strike. After all, smooth rides don’t last forever in life. My daughter had her full-blown crying spell on Thursday morning and got delayed to school by half an hour! But I would give myself a thumbs-up for handling it calmly. But I too was to soon stop being calm.

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The last three months have been a self-challenging period when I had to be mindful of the way I reacted to every single thing happening around me. In order to talk less and, more importantly, to talk in a soft voice and not shout/yell and not show impatience/anger, I had to take things easy. I had to keep doing a self-counselling on a regular basis that it was okay if the child didn’t eat a meal properly or it was okay if the siblings continued to fight and make each other cry or it was okay if we got delayed to school by a few minutes. It meant slowing down, pausing. And that’s when I realized that all I had to do was pause to let my kids be kids!

How many times was I reminding my daughter to swallow her food and not keep it inside her mouth without biting? How many times was I asking her to stop dancing around while I was combing her hair? How many times was I reminding her to walk fast lest she gets delayed to school? How many times was I asking her to stop playing and come back home lest her brother starts feeling hungry and starts becoming restless?
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I asked my daughter who was the ‘Sir’ who was outside the school yesterday and my 2.5-year old son replies, “Dinosaur!” Such is the fascination he has for dinosaurs!

Imagine how he would feel when he comes to know that dinosaurs are now extinct. He wouldn’t even believe me if I tell him that because, earlier this year, while visiting the Singapore zoo, he wanted to see a dinosaur and to his surprise and ours too, we got to see not one, but many huge dinosaur models all moving its neck and making scary sounds, fascinating my son to no end.

At 1 pm on today’s sunny afternoon, the day so far had been smooth and having sat with my son for the last 3 hours, I thought that I should now get on with the household chores and started doing the dishes first. After all, the little one seemed so busy playing with his toys that he didn’t even look at me and I thought it was time to start tackling one chore after another.
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Looking at our toys, dolls and games collection, even I am surprised at how we managed to not own one of these Play-Doh sets so far. During the June holidays in Madras, my daughter became so fascinated by the Play-Doh kitchen set ads on Nick Jr that she went into such a pestering mode that there was no way I could evade buying it.
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